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nuditea:

got no problem with watching a full season of tv in one sitting but when it comes time to pick a movie im like “am i really ready to pay attention to something for two hours”

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41,188 plays
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golddustmotherfucker:

YOU. GUYS.
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You know, funny story: There’s this craft store called Michaels. Look, my sister knits, and she goes to Michaels. So my sister called me and she’s like, “Oh my god, I’m at Michaels, picking up yarn. You have a poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “What?” She’s like, “There’s a poster, there’s a Falcon poster at Michaels.” I’m like, “Holy s**t!” She’s like, “I’m gonna come and pick you up, and we’re gonna see your poster in this store.” So she picks me up and we go to Michaels.

We go in, and I see the poster and I’m like, “Oh, this is….” She’s like, “I know, I know.” I said, “I’m gonna sign these posters.” I was like, “That would be amazing, you buy a poster and it’s like, actually signed by the Falcon.” Like, it would blow my mind. So I go to the front, I buy a Sharpie, I run back to the back of the store. And she’s like, “I’m gonna take a picture of you signing it.”

I’m in this store and I’m signing all the posters. The manager comes out, he’s like, “Hey, whatcha doing?” I was like, “Oh man, I’m signing these posters so when people buy ‘em, they’re signed.” He’s like, “Well, people are not gonna buy ‘em if they’re signed.” And I was like, “No, no, no, it’s cool. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a problem.” And he goes, “Yeah, but it is gonna be a problem, you’re messin’ up my inventory.” And I’m like, “No, my man, trust me. I mean, I’m the Falcon, that’s me!” And he goes, “Yeah, right. You’re gonna buy those posters.” I said, “What?” He’s like, “You’re gonna buy all those posters or I’m gonna call the police.”

He rolls up all the posters and goes to the front of the store. And I had to buy like 60 Falcon posters that I signed in Michaels.

Anthony Mackie getting in trouble for signing his posters at a Micheals  (x)

(Source: fwips)

Posted 1 hour ago | 69,204 notes | Reblog

thelilnan:

hohoholdthefuckupson:

silenthill:

*puts my bro’s dick in my hand*

see, its a metaphor. it’s only gay if i jack it

See, I never jacked it, only put in in the middle of my hand. It can turn me gay but I’m not giving it the power to. A metaphor.

image

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shuckl:

sirruraccoon:

shuckl:

watchthelightfade:

shuckl:

just to avoid accidentally using offensive language i’m going to start using 90s surfer dude slang because inadvertently offending someone is totally bogus dude

people might not want to be called dude

you are radically right and that is so not tubular my friend i apologise

I find your poor grammar and spelling to be offensive to my eyes.

watch me catch this gnarly wave of i don’t care

Posted 1 hour ago | 248,827 notes | Reblog
thefrogman:

[reddit]
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